Mothering boys

Just a few days ago, I thought to myself, 'now I know why the guy's mother gets over-possessive, and jealous when he finally gets old enough to bring a girl home'.

My boys are my joy, my pride, everything I ever wanted from God and more. The joy of seeing them smile, the pain of seeing them cry when they are hurt.
I remember the very first time I spanked my older son and how I cried as he cried. Looking at him when I first gave birth to him I never thought a day will come when I would raise a finger at him.
He looked so adorable, still does. It pained me that I hurt him and made him cry. The look on his face as he cried was that of unbelief that this same person who could love him so could also cause him pain.

I've since consoled myself with the axiom, 'spare the rod and spoil the child'.

I remember with nostalgia the first time he cupped my face in his hands and planted a kiss on my lips. Oh, how sweet! I felt so on top of the world. Although, those kisses come more often now when he wants something or when he needs me to overlook something he's done.

He still makes me happy whenever they come and often hits home with it. 

I see them in the future and I assure myself I won't manipulate them for their time and attention when its finally time for them to leave so they can cleave to their own spouses. I will let them be and enjoy only the love and attention of their father, my first love before they ever came along and shared me with him.

I will be content in knowing that they are visitors who came to be a part of our lives but now have their own lives to live. I will be content with whatever little time they can spare for me in their very busy schedules and time away from their spouses.

I must be dreaming because as I look at my sleeping younger son, I wonder if I will ever be prepared to let go.

Hmph! I'm loving this feeling of being plastered with mushy, wet kisses by my sons' saliva. Will I ever be okay to let them shower all these love on some other woman who knows nothing about what I went through to have them or the bond that has grown between us through the years?

Will I ever want to give up my place of being the first lady in their lives and let someone else be who they consult first before doing anything, relegating me to the background?

How will it feel to know they have to wake up beside another woman who isn't me, everyday of their lives till old age.

Guess this is how a lot of mothers of boys feel, the degrees may vary though but its the same feeling nonetheless.

And I'd like to help us with coming to terms with the fact that we are mere caretakers. Sure we carried them in our wombs for nine months and were there through their growing and formative years. But the law of life says there's a time called maturity these ones get to and must move on, otherwise they'd remain babies in our eyes forever.
And may find it difficult to reach their full potentials.

Any moms out there who is finding it difficult to let go? Is there any who has succeeded in letting go, releasing your son to find and mind his home without interference from you?

Please share with me, I'd like to know how to deal with it when the time comes.

Shalom!