To have and to hold

Are you married? Then you must have said these words as a vow, unless you did not marry legally, or you wrote your own vows, then you may not know what I mean.
But if you were married legally, that is in a church or a registry, at least, you must have said these words as vows. I just want to drive home the point that it is one phrase you cant remove from wedding vows.
But if you are unmarried, then you are excused, but watch out! You may not have said it,but then again you most definitely may have heard it being exchanged at a wedding ceremony. Hey! don't shrug it off yet, you are cupid's target! You will soon encounter 'it'. So begin to get used to the idea that marriage is to have and to hold.
I don't know who made the general vows almost everyone is using today, but it makes a lot of sense to me that its not just to have...But its also to hold.
To have, the way I understand it is to acquire, while to hold, is to retain.
The process of having first starts with sighting. Next is the desire to know more, this is accompanied by a pursuit which may be easy or difficult if the lady in question decides to play the old 'hard to get' game.
The whole quest is terminated where it is discovered that the prize belongs to someone else, some people still never give up though, or that she is altogether not interested. Ask me later why the chasing should be done by the guy alone.
Otherwise, it moves to an entirely new level called courting, dating (by some).
At this level, folks are encouraged to know all they can about themselves, their likes and dislikes etc. This is generally accepted to be the process of determining the level of compatibility or incompatibility between two people.
I will advise taking this 'knowing' one step at a time, being 'present' at every conversation and not being carried away by lust for physical contact that one totally misses out on what should be learnt at each stage.
I also advise excommunicating body contacts that could lead to obeying sexual urges as this has been known to becloud judgement.
As soon as this stage is crossed then knowing both families and other familiarisation processes gradually fall into place. The two people are gradually inching closer to the 'have' part.
We all know this process is the most tasking for most couples.
But then comes the day everyone has been waiting for when she is finally handed to him, to have and to hold.
The issue here is that most guys have memory lapses and soon forget all they went through to have her, and are careless about the holding part.
Now she has been 'acquired', the chase is over, she is going no where, they think. But this is where the main work is, to hold her, cherish her, love her, nurture her and make her feel wanted all the days of the life she has signed to be with you.
She is meant to feel special, because her life will take twists and turns as she opens up to be to you all that God has created her to be. She is meant to radiate and  blossom as the days go by not lack lustre and fade.
Hold her, squeeze her hands reassuringly, whisper sweet words to her. Leave her notes on days you feel too angry to voice your appreciation for her. A woman just wants to feel loved. Nothing is more secure for her than knowing she is top in your list of priorities. She is such a wonder from God to you and is meant to feel every connecting dot of the word wonderful.
So babes, the next time you are falling in love with someone, or you are being chased all across town and you are not offered these two options or an assurance that they would be firmly settled, please don't go into that contract called marriage. Because it is still "to have and to hold".
If you are not comfortable with it BEAT IT!